TLC

"Much of education is oriented toward making a living instead of making a life." Dr. Roger Walsh. 

In his wonderful TEDxUniversityofNevada talk "Hackschooling Makes Me Happy." Logan La Plante introduces the happiness research of Dr. Walsh. (It's worth watching the 13 minutes video--especially with your kids). 

"When I grow up, I want to be happy." Logan says, and presents Dr. Walsh's 8 key TLC's or Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes as the user guide.

1. Exercise
2. Diet and Nutrition
3. Time in Nature
4. Relationships
5. Relaxation and stress management
6. Recreation
7. Religious or Spiritual Involvement
8. Service to Others or Contribution

So many of us are oriented toward making a living instead of making a life. In the juggling of priorities, the happiness ball keeps falling on the ground and rolling under the couch where it lies forgotten--along with dust bunnies and stale popcorn. 

What if juggling priorities is the wrong way of going about being happy? What if leading a happy life is more like making (and eating) a really good picnic in which there are the most delicious ingredients eaten in good company in a gorgeous, quiet setting? 

We tend to think This or That, rather than This AND That. I can make money or be home with my kids. I can work hard or have good relationships. But maybe the key is to blend or stack. "How can I do this and that and that and this? How can I build a good career and be happy and work with people I like and get outside during the day and contribute and pray and have fun?".

In healthy lives and companies, there is evidence of people blending what makes them happy into their work lives. There are walking and running groups where coworkers run through parkland at lunch. Or meal-shares where colleagues take turns bringing healthy lunches for each other. "Cone of silence" drinks where concerns are shared and worked through. Yoga classes, massage, meditation groups or sleep pods for de-stressing. Mentoring, volunteerism and fundraising campaigns build relationships and spirits while in service to others. Some, like the Mustard Seed combine TLC's by making delicious food in service to the homeless.

Hmm. You don't have to change things up too much to make life just a bit better. 

To help shift my thinking and doing, I'll make myself a report card using the 8 TLC's as headings and post it here when I'm done. At the start of each week, I'll look at where I'm feeding my happiness on all 8 fronts, then report back in to myself at the end of the week. Maybe I will get my boyfriend, and my mom and dad to do it with me? Want to join me? Who can you bring along on your lifestyle hack?

Poster Classic

A while back I wrote in Plumage and Dazzle how important it is to dress-up your town, your event, your message and your invitation to showcase the experience you promise to deliver. 

Wonderful Jean McAllister of the design house Dark Horse Company created this brilliant poster for the short film fest Bicycle Shorts. In it, is a great example of a classic poster, so beautiful you want to keep it on your wall long after the event is over.

Its energy, whimsy and colour extends a compelling invitation. An invitation sets the tone of what to expect at the party, so you want it to be lively and fun, then your guests arrive in the right frame of mind. Too bad corporate meeting invitations aren't this fun! Maybe they could be?

Quotable Quotes from (not so) Ordinary Folks

I've had enough of hackneyed quotes from famous people. 

Einstein's once novel quote,“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” may be true, but I'm sick of it! 
Cited over and over again in order to herd groups toward innovative or design-thinking, it's a taser with dead batteries.

As an antidote, maybe even an inoculation against group-think, can't we draw insights from people alive and working alongside us today? I offer a small sample from recent experience:

Freshly home from back-to-back business trips in Las Vegas (really it was business) with some fun, wildly smart clients, and  Vancouver for a conference, I received an email from  design genius John Tong. The founder of +tongtong and his wife, Anne, had just returned from Milan. "Being able to mix business with pleasure is one of the secrets to living well." His quote summarizes precisely what I'd experienced during my two recent trips. 

While exploring key factors in identifying niche markets with a client, I'd posted into our collection of yellow stickies one which read "intuition". As I did, the man who'd made the suggestion earlier blurted, "Intuition? I didn't think that was allowed!"  Mike Smith, the President and founder of ReadySmith Advisers, summarized cultural bias in that moment.

The topic of intuition spiced many conversations throughout Vancouver's Corporate State event. The event is attended by powerful women in business. Kicking off the event, keynoter Sherry Cooper, the former Chief Economist with BMO Nesbitt Burns, balanced her data-filled financial forecast of the U.S. and Canadian economies with, "I trust my intuition in forecasting." 

In her opening remarks on the Auction Economy, innovation expert Karen Morris said, "My intuition is beating in my breast." Pure poetry. Later in that same discussion Karen noted, "Values and Innovation are inextricable tied." She illustrated how using a reference to John Donne's brilliant 16th century poem Valediction Forbidding Mourning, "If they be two, they are two so, as stiff twin compasses are two; thy soul, the fixt foot, makes no show to move, but doth if th'other do." Now that's a quote I never tire of but used to describe business relationships--that's new.

Of our obssession with discounted goods and services resulting in RFPs awarded to lowest bidder regardless of quality or ability to deliver, Karen asked, "What is the right price for the wrong thing?" Nudging Canadian businesses to innovate she prodded, "All businesses need to be asking 'How can I change what, how and by whom I am paid?'" Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Who was it who said, "Insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results"? Oh yeah, Einstein. Let's take the dude's advice and  sample the sayings of today's brainiacs. Go ahead, I dare you to float an original quote to see what can happen. 

Or as Evelyn Bailey, Vice President of Software with IBM said, "My job is to break glass and not accept business as usual."

Man in the Arena

Tonight while doing some administrivia, I listened to Brene Brown's  2nd TED talk on Vulnerability.
IN it she quotes Roosevelt and cites his quote as a lifesaver. It made me think about my nephews who are hockey players. I want to post this note on their Facebook walls next time they have a massive loss in the arena. Maybe I should even message them. Anyway, here from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 :
                                      
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."


I really appreciate that part about the critic not counting. I've had a couple of finger pointers around me, and I tell you, inviting them to participate in that which they are criticizing in order to improve it sure has a way of sobering up their drunken revelry of blame. I don't feel shame for trying, nor a need to make excuses for the "do" of others. Cold and timid souls, enjoy the sidelines.

   download PDF of complete speech  

Crazy Cold

"Brain freeze" takes on a whole new meaning with temperatures waivering between -21 to -32 degrees CELCIUS. For you Americans who like your cold in Fahrenheit, -5 to -25. Long undies under the ski pants just to walk to work. I have a flat tire I'm not changing until Monday when forecasts call for +3.
Needless to say, I've suspended my morning walks for a bit. I do the 2 blocks required to get to work. That's it. Can you blame me?

Feature Spew

I've taught many a pitching workshop and have warned entrepreneurs, innovators, and creators that they can become so enamored with their own "technology" or "idea" that they mistakenly spew about its features to their listeners. They do this without their audience having a REASON TO CARE, and no frame of reference to understand. The guy/girl pitching then becomes like one of those spitter dinosaurs that keck up a vision-obscuring-mucus onto their prey to immobilize them, and the listener is like the freaked out Nedry. Only that's NOT A GOOD THING when you are asking for money, buy-in, or support.

Thanks to Ron Wild, former resident at the Canadian Film Centre's Media Lab, for this hilarious and perfect example of feature spew:

Hand Made Prayers

We all need a little bit o'this.

They don't have to be embroidered. The first few were left blank for friends to write their own prayers on them in permanent markers. Subsequent flags got the embroidered treatment, mostly because I had the time (was sick in bed or good movie to watch) and the inspiration.

Symbol for Prosperity

Little Passions vs. Life Purpose

Recently I met with a group of women who were keen to find their "Life Purpose". That's a big thing to find. And I'm not entirely convinced that each of us has one, or wants to know what it actually IS. But  that's for another blog entry.

What these women had in common was a list of things that they wanted to DO. Like one always wanted to be an Opera Singer. She also liked to design costumes and thought that maybe she could have been a Costume Designer were it not for the fact that she's now 63. Party Planner was something that she'd always wanted to do but hadn't. She was despondent that she could never be that person who is Opera Singer, Costume Designer or Party Planner. Really? Never?


"What if you had an Opera themed party, invited your friends to perform their favourite aria, or whatever, and you had to come in costume? You could help friends who needed help in designing their costume, you could plan a wonderful party, and as host your could give yourself a couple of songs to perform."

She looked at me with stunned silence. It had not occurred to her that she could BE the very person she could "never" be. She just needed to scale back on the expectation. Often, it's that image of Over-the-Top PERFECTION that stops us from just enjoying the thing we want to do or be. 

Whole hearted living means that we can do and be that which we desire. The only thing that stands in the way is ourselves and how we view the scale of a thing. Genghis Khan didn't start out saying, "I'm going to rule the East." He started out with, "I'm going to avenge the stealing of my mother," then "I'm going to get back my wife who was stolen." and along the way, he became a fierce warrior.

I wanted to be a photographer. Fashion photos at first because that was the world I designed and modeled in and I LOVED fashion. So I shot some portfolios for fellow models and got that bug out of my system. I didn't need to be  a published professional photographer. I just wanted the thrill of capturing light, line, texture, form, movement, mood and colour in a shot. Composing. I kept the scale of the activity in check.

Last summer I got the idea that I should start a new business designing prayer flags. I'd done a few flags for a gift for a friend, and I spent the better part of 2 days scoping out the business plan/model for such an enterprise. I was two steps away from jumping in my car to head to the US for a gift show to scope out a rep. Then I thought, "But that is not my life's purpose. It's my passion, my pleasure, my hobby, my fun, my Joy but not my purpose. It's just for fun." I can explore the form without having to build a business around it. I kept the scale in check. It's a form of focusing.

So when you are dreaming about what's next, what now or what's your purpose, get clear about how you can have your Joys and Passions without having to make them into a big hairy deal of life's purpose -- unless you want to, unless you NEED to. The only person who says "it must be so" is you. So be careful the directions you give yourself. Just Start is a good direction. Stack your passions is another idea. So, like that 63 year old, Do Costumer Designer, do Opera Singer, do Party Planner, and do them all at once. Stack your passions. Just Start.

Walk at Work

A beloved friend who has also been a client told me this morning that when Steve Jobs had something important to say, he would go for a walk with that person. How fitting that I was walking while talking "with" my friend when I heard this. He was in Toronto, I in Canmore, and through the beauty of the iPhone, I was able to capture some of the sites I saw while we walked together. His words were the "soundtrack" to the live film before me.

These are for you, John. Now you can see the openness into which I yelled for the lost dog to return.

Yamnuska, before he became lost. Too many good smells, sooo little free-time.

Looking East at one of the 3 sisters.

Looking West up the Bow River tributary

Dawn comes late in Canmore. It's about 9am.

The sky may not be big, but it's glorious here.

Cold and Flu Season

I've been smacked in the head with a wicked cold. So no "will-ups" these last few days. I've been noticing how often I start something and then get distracted by many other thoughts, just like with the "will ups". So things are shifting by degrees.

Thanks Sly for photo!

Luckily, I got to skate on Gap Lake Saturday before my bed and I became conjoined.

Willpower Exercise Day Five

I rushed a little. It took less than 5 minutes this time. I noticed that doing the declaration out loud helped me to notice my mind wandering. I had at LEAST one new thought between each tack. That's 50 different thoughts. Refocusing on the declaration and my contentment helped. But today, I felt no progress.

Willpower Exercise Day Three

I did not start my day with this, but fitted it in just after my afternoon run. I say "afternoon run" like I do this all the time, or maybe even have a morning or evening run. Fact is, that I have wanted to start a consistent running programme for many many moons. Don't know if my "will-ups" are strengthening my will and improving other habits or not. Too early to tell.

Today, still more mind chatter around doing the exercise WHILE doing the exercise. But contentment was easier. Likely, the endorphins from running had a part to play in that.

In mediation classes, I've been told to just watch my thoughts drift in and out like clouds. That never works for me. My thoughts are more like wild horses charging across an endless plain. The horses can be corralled though, and I can watch them, figure out which one I want to ride when, and then take action. I wouldn't try to ride 2 horses at once, but that's exactly what I have done with my thoughts. Ride one for a little, then get distracted when the next comes snorting and stomping its hooves.

What if that's what the "will-ups" exercise is partially about? Hold one thought, or one tack, or one horse, and ride it into action, or the box or the corral.

Will Power Exercise Described

Here's a summary of what I'm doing:
1. Exercise will. The article I read suggests "cultivating the feeling of contentment" while exercising will, and it gives full directions. In short, take a pile of 50 small somethings: pennies, thumb tacks, beads, whatever is small. "Drop them slowly and deliberately into a box one by one, with a feeling of contentment and satisfaction, declaring with each movement, 'I will to will.'" We're urged to watch our thoughts as we do this task as a form of working meditation I suppose. When complete, write our observations so that we can mark our progress doing this over 7 consecutive days. The writing is what I'm doing on the blog.

Willpower Exercise Day Two

I was really looking forward to moving 50 tacks from my desk into a box. I'm taking this very seriously. I re-read the instructions to clarify some things I had become unsure of, lit a candle, took a photo and started.

At first it was easy to maintain an attitude of contentment because I was so looking forward to this exercise. Then I thought, "Maybe I'm supposed to say 'I will to will' outloud?" So I tried that. It was like an incantation for a spell. Much more powerful said outloud. I found that the more I focused on the task, the quieter my vocalizations became. I had to remember to say them out LOUD.

I also resisted the urge to speed up and do the job quickly. It's supposed to take 10 minutes and in all, it took 4.5. Again, thoughts swarmed my head like mosquitoes to bare flesh. The more I tried to empty my thoughts the more they seeped in. My mind abhors a near vacuum it seems. I developed a character for some imaginary novel I might write one day WHILE putting the tacks into the box, and noticing their sharpness, their simple construction, their smooth surface and shine.

Again, focus on contentment and "I will to will". I still am not sure what that phrase means, other than the only reason that I'm doing this exercise/experiment, is to see if I can strengthen my will.
I'm starting to appreciate that the will holds focus on a specific task or direction, and that a strong will will hold its focus until the task is finished. It's almost like a shield or a force field which resists letting other thoughts take hold and redirect. Thoughts bounce through, but don't stick.

I can see that doing this exercise daily, I could get bored if I weren't really paying attention to all the inner chatter and workings of my mind. That if I get better at not just shielding my thoughts, but slowing them, or eliminating those not task-focused, I will feel quite delighted. That skill, that state of being, would be a lovely one to cultivate. Perhaps that's part of the power of will, that singular state of one-ness with the task. But I get ahead of myself. Tomorrow's another day.

p.s. After writing this entry, I looked at the other two entries about the Will and it struck me, "I wonder if the will is like a backbone that keeps all the actions in alignment?" Those of you who have a strong will, what do you know?

Wanna try? Directions here.

Willpower Exercise Day One

Ok, that was WILD! A simple task: take 50 push pins and put them into a box while holding a state of contentment and satisfaction, and repeating the phrase "I will to will". Then record what you noticed.

I noticed how many other thoughts went through my head in the short time. First I wanted to take a picture of the pins to show you. That meant I had to not get distracted by my other photos on iPhoto or my iPhone, not get distracted by arranging them perfectly on the journal.

Thoughts that went through my head just BEFORE starting were things like, "I'm cold I need a blanket" I grabbed one. "I'm still cold I need slippers." I didn't grab them and now my feet aren't so cold. "I need to find a better box to count these pins into." I looked at 2 other options before saying to Self, "Finish this task." I dropped a tack on the carpet and noticed it blended in well with the sisal weave.

While putting the tacks into the box and while saying to myself in my head "I will to will", I had myriad thoughts fly through like, "they are so shiny", "they are so sharp", "I should focus on the task", "I am going to fast/slow", "What does this statement 'I will to will' really mean? My nephew's name is Will."

And other similar tangential thoughts. Crazy! So much busy-ness that was NOT ON TASK.
Holding the state of contentment and satisfaction while staying on task was not successful. I had it at the start, then wondered if it would be better if I smiled. Then I got caught up in all the aforementioned thoughts and forgot the contentment. I regained it at the end with the final tack, when I super slowed-down. But I sustained contentment for less than the time it took to pick up the tack and drop in the box. Other thoughts came in in the meantime. Who knew that my brain was so active?!

I can see that this focusing will take some practice. What was interesting in a horrifying and terribly "that makes sense" kind of way, was how many other things crossed my mind to do before tackling this. I have given in to so many of the distracting thoughts in the past. Starting to see that strengthening will is about focus and see the wisdom of "finish what you've started".

If you've tried this, let me know what you found.

Awesome Sauce

"You have to get vulnerable...That's when we feel faith in humanity. Those warm moments of colour in the tepidness of status-quo life. Whether you're on stage or in the audience, you must channel that fear into something productive, or get rid of it...We watch people on a stage. The ones who really blow our minds are the ones who tap in to that carnal part of inspired humanity that allows us to just be alright with each other. The ones who really inspire us are the ones who put down their armour. They get naked with such brilliance that instead of cutting them to bits, everyone in the room wishes they had the balls to get naked, too.

The fact is that, those moments on stage when everything goes right inject enough awesome sauce into one's life to make up for an eternity of predictable financial stability. In fact, you begin to pity people who can't let go. It's like being in on this amazing secret. You start to live your life moment to moment. You realize that getting vulnerable is a catalyst to having boatloads of memorable moments in your life. You learn that most people will actually meet you there. And you stop caring if they don't. And you learn to disregard people who don't "get it". The good ones will.

Dan Mangan published by the Guardian. Words to live by.

My favourite artists crawl right into the thick of an experience, and show themselves and the heart of the matter uncovered. Yes, naked. They expose themselves as they hold up this moment of complex and torturosly beautiful, real humanity and you just can't look away.

Vulnerability Dan Mangan-style

I'm a big fan of Dan Mangan's music. "Road Regrets" is the best driving or running tune ever! especially if your energy stores are low and need a picking up. His lyrics are profound and powerful.

I just read in his newsletter about his successful appearance at the Orpheum and his Euro-tour dates. Best of all, he talks about vulnerability. I'm going to post his words directly. I encourage you to read his Guardian article.

From Dan, the man, "I recently wrote an article published in The Guardian newspaper. It was quite an honour - I have a deep respect for the publication and its dedication to true journalism not only in the UK but around the world. Many thanks to Film & Music Editor Michael Hann for the opportunity. My article was about getting vulnerable, and what getting over the fear to do so can bring about. I would like to add that when I speak of vulnerability, I’m not talking about “sensitivity”. Those are two different things. I’m talking about being porous to the universe – being fully alive in the moment. The hardest, most intense punk-rock show I ever saw was vulnerable. I recently watched some old footage of Nirvana performing. Best believe they were vulnerable. It’s not about being soft, it’s about being honest. Sometimes, being honest might mean being soft, but the two are not one in the same.

Anyhow, feel free to read the article here."

I'd love the hear what you think about what he wrote. "Porous to the universe." That's going to be my mantra for Dec.


Check out more Dan at DanManganMusic.com
p.s. you can get a free download of "Oh Fortune" by simply sharing an email address. Very good idea! It's got the same rolling drum beats of Road Regrets.

Expectation formula

Recently while attending Interactive Screen at the Banff Centre, a guest artist said something off the cuff during discussion which really stuck with me. He said that they joy, the happiness that we can experience from anything is deeply influenced by our expectations. He gave a formula

Joy experienced = what actually happens / how much joy you expect to derive

So, if you are expecting the experience will be really great, your experience of it will be reduced.

I can see how this works in many occasions. If you don't want to go to a fundraiser or that person's dinner party because you think it will be terrible, it's never as terrible as you think and you have more fun than you expect.

If you wish to go to something because you really really want to, it has to be pretty incredible to live up to your expectations.

I was discussing with a friend today how this formula operates in favour of arranged marriages vs love marriages. If you think that your husband/wife is going to be just ok, or maybe even terrible, and they show you little by little over time that life will be better than you'd expected, you move more towards Joy. If, on the other hand, you have married someone out of great love and passion, but every small incompatibility erases a bit of the picture of perfection, then you are moving away from Joy.

We were talking about this re: the Western need to have work which is on purpose. So many friends are searching for their mission, their purpose, their reason for being/working. Those who were born with a clear dream or purpose, who have not actualized on it, are miserable. Depressed. Those who were born without a dream or purpose, feel like failures for not finding it. Every moment is experienced through absence rather than presence of Best Self. The expectation is that finding your purpose, and working towards it is what brings joy. But if we look at the formula, working towards your purpose would have to be pretty amazing for it to bring joy.

There IS a factor of the formula in which effort mitigates the reductive capacity of expectation. Or maybe more accurately, risk. There's something about the unknown that neutralizes expectation. I'm not sure exactly how that works into the equation. It's just a hunch that it does. Unknowing is an antidote to expectation. So maybe we need to practice the art of unknowing the precise outcome we are expecting?

Hair Cut Mayhem

The last post was about the outside affecting the inside. This one is about how a really short hair cut has caused me to look at how I express my dissatisfaction with people, and why. Outside affecting inside.

On Wednesday, I went into a new salon because I know one of the stylists from some volunteer work I did. I sat down in the chair, drew a picture of the haircut I wanted, and after discussing it a bit with her, let her go to work.

What I didn't want was much shorter hair. I'd spent 6 months growing it in from the last short cut.

I told the stylist this, and heard her say twice, "It won't be much of a change if it's not shorter."

I should have listened harder to what she was saying. I should have asked, "How long do you see the finished cut being?" and confirming understanding against the vision each of us had in our heads. I should have stopped her as soon as she cut one piece of hair too short.

Why? Because I got "scalped". While it's a great haircut for someone else, it isn't what I wanted. It's going to be a disaster for my hair quality too. So I'm annoyed. Disappointed. And looking like a grumpy dandelion just before you make a wish and blow off the fuzzies.

Friends ask, "Have you told her (stylist)?" "Will you go back?" to which I answer "no" and "yes".

I haven't told her because there is nothing she can do about it now. She can't glue on the extra 10cm of hair she lopped off and she'll only feel badly. The ONLY reason I would tell her now is, in fact, to make her feel badly--share my pain. Unload it on her. Find an outlet. Unless, by not telling her, I choke on my feelings and decrease the chances of ever going back to that salon. So, I may tell her, but after I've been able to cool off a bit and when I'm ready to ask her how we can avoid this happening again.

Expectation, disappointment, communication around vision and execution on vision are as simple and as complicated as this stupid haircut. The BEST way to avoid disappointment is to carefully check understanding BEFORE execution. Because, sometimes, it's too late afterward to do anything about the result.

Urgh. Bad hair quarter coming (but no photos).

Guerilla Gardening II

It's 1 a.m. and teaming with rain here in the Rockies.

I just took a break from writing a loooonnnng and thorough report for clients on how to redesign their business to generate and reflect their new prosperity metrics. I popped out to our front garden and spread some poppy and cosmos seeds among the columbine, delphinium, lilies and lupins. Won't my sweetie be surprised! We had a few little bare patches that were calling out for some frondy blooms to tickle the shins of the perennials.

I love the rain.

During rain showers as a young girl I used to pry the giant, patio umbrella out of its heavy base then drag it to the back edge of the lawn. I'd kneel beneath it-- as dry and snug as a lady bug under a mushroom-- to inhale the verdure around me. Wetgreenandearth has a fragrance that's all its own.