My nephew, who received his drivers license last year, just gave the speech of a lifetime. It was delivered to his fellow upper-classmates at Appleby College, but really, its wisdom has a place in any classroom or boardroom. Just substitute, "this place" or "your life" any time he says Appleby and see if I'm not right.

You don't have to be a proud aunt to cry at the simple beauty of this message do you?
Ok, maybe you do, but lemme tell you I'm so proud of the person he has become. Now, when you open the door, say "Hi" and introduce yourself. The world will feel a whole lot friendlier.

Man in the Arena

Tonight while doing some administrivia, I listened to Brene Brown's  2nd TED talk on Vulnerability.
IN it she quotes Roosevelt and cites his quote as a lifesaver. It made me think about my nephews who are hockey players. I want to post this note on their Facebook walls next time they have a massive loss in the arena. Maybe I should even message them. Anyway, here from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 :
                                      
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."


I really appreciate that part about the critic not counting. I've had a couple of finger pointers around me, and I tell you, inviting them to participate in that which they are criticizing in order to improve it sure has a way of sobering up their drunken revelry of blame. I don't feel shame for trying, nor a need to make excuses for the "do" of others. Cold and timid souls, enjoy the sidelines.

   download PDF of complete speech  

Awesome Sauce

"You have to get vulnerable...That's when we feel faith in humanity. Those warm moments of colour in the tepidness of status-quo life. Whether you're on stage or in the audience, you must channel that fear into something productive, or get rid of it...We watch people on a stage. The ones who really blow our minds are the ones who tap in to that carnal part of inspired humanity that allows us to just be alright with each other. The ones who really inspire us are the ones who put down their armour. They get naked with such brilliance that instead of cutting them to bits, everyone in the room wishes they had the balls to get naked, too.

The fact is that, those moments on stage when everything goes right inject enough awesome sauce into one's life to make up for an eternity of predictable financial stability. In fact, you begin to pity people who can't let go. It's like being in on this amazing secret. You start to live your life moment to moment. You realize that getting vulnerable is a catalyst to having boatloads of memorable moments in your life. You learn that most people will actually meet you there. And you stop caring if they don't. And you learn to disregard people who don't "get it". The good ones will.

Dan Mangan published by the Guardian. Words to live by.

My favourite artists crawl right into the thick of an experience, and show themselves and the heart of the matter uncovered. Yes, naked. They expose themselves as they hold up this moment of complex and torturosly beautiful, real humanity and you just can't look away.

Vulnerability Dan Mangan-style

I'm a big fan of Dan Mangan's music. "Road Regrets" is the best driving or running tune ever! especially if your energy stores are low and need a picking up. His lyrics are profound and powerful.

I just read in his newsletter about his successful appearance at the Orpheum and his Euro-tour dates. Best of all, he talks about vulnerability. I'm going to post his words directly. I encourage you to read his Guardian article.

From Dan, the man, "I recently wrote an article published in The Guardian newspaper. It was quite an honour - I have a deep respect for the publication and its dedication to true journalism not only in the UK but around the world. Many thanks to Film & Music Editor Michael Hann for the opportunity. My article was about getting vulnerable, and what getting over the fear to do so can bring about. I would like to add that when I speak of vulnerability, I’m not talking about “sensitivity”. Those are two different things. I’m talking about being porous to the universe – being fully alive in the moment. The hardest, most intense punk-rock show I ever saw was vulnerable. I recently watched some old footage of Nirvana performing. Best believe they were vulnerable. It’s not about being soft, it’s about being honest. Sometimes, being honest might mean being soft, but the two are not one in the same.

Anyhow, feel free to read the article here."

I'd love the hear what you think about what he wrote. "Porous to the universe." That's going to be my mantra for Dec.


Check out more Dan at DanManganMusic.com
p.s. you can get a free download of "Oh Fortune" by simply sharing an email address. Very good idea! It's got the same rolling drum beats of Road Regrets.

Vulnerability & Safety

Parents yearn for children to be safe. Safe in a world where uncertainty hides under every bed and evil crouches behind each and every closet door. We teach our kids how to manage volumes of information, how to embrace diversity, how to extend empathy and compassion to others. But we equip our children little to fight the invisible monster that is the truest threat--their own thoughts. The incessant bombardment of  thoughts in our heads which measure us as lacking or adequate, weak or powerful, broken or brilliant attack us or fortify us. It is our thoughts which rule us and our place in the world more certainly than any learning we might aquire.

I have been working on the Maverick Project, assembling the stories of people who have crafted original lives for themselves, because I believed that they could be talismans of what is possible for those just starting to carve their trail through the forest of possibilities. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe mavericks' tales don't illuminate the way through darkness, but rather obfuscate the truth. 

Our kids are most vulnerable when they leave school "ready" to take on the world. In fact, each of us is most vulnerable when one foot is in the old world, and one in the new. Transitions are where we need to watch that the flying monkeys of doubt don't come and smother our babies in the night. Our thoughts can give us wings or paralyze us. Our thoughts can be seeds or graves.

Julian Barnes photo by Luke MacGregor/Reuters

On CBC's  Writers & Company (at @43:05min),  Man Booker Prize winner, Julian Barnes, recalled his time at Oxford, "There is a vulnerability at that age when you go out into life for the first time, when you leave behind the institutions where rules and companionship and everything protect you...I remember when I was a student, there was always one or two students a year who would kill themselves and it always came as a surprise. And yet,  it shouldn't have done."

Our kids walk a slackline strung between worlds. Have they hope, confidence and helpful self talk as their companions? Or have they doubt, rampant fear, and self blame or loathing? We are all "students" transitioning through different stages. We've never been exactly "here" before with this set of experiences, skills, knowledge and awareness What do we believe to be true? What ruts have our thoughts worn into the road ahead? I have to be constantly vigilant that my thoughts are creative and buoyant, focused on possibility finding rather than doubting and sinking. As they say, "Think you can or think you can't and either way you'll be right". We each need to teach and model possibility thinking. How do you do that?