Awesome Sauce

"You have to get vulnerable...That's when we feel faith in humanity. Those warm moments of colour in the tepidness of status-quo life. Whether you're on stage or in the audience, you must channel that fear into something productive, or get rid of it...We watch people on a stage. The ones who really blow our minds are the ones who tap in to that carnal part of inspired humanity that allows us to just be alright with each other. The ones who really inspire us are the ones who put down their armour. They get naked with such brilliance that instead of cutting them to bits, everyone in the room wishes they had the balls to get naked, too.

The fact is that, those moments on stage when everything goes right inject enough awesome sauce into one's life to make up for an eternity of predictable financial stability. In fact, you begin to pity people who can't let go. It's like being in on this amazing secret. You start to live your life moment to moment. You realize that getting vulnerable is a catalyst to having boatloads of memorable moments in your life. You learn that most people will actually meet you there. And you stop caring if they don't. And you learn to disregard people who don't "get it". The good ones will.

Dan Mangan published by the Guardian. Words to live by.

My favourite artists crawl right into the thick of an experience, and show themselves and the heart of the matter uncovered. Yes, naked. They expose themselves as they hold up this moment of complex and torturosly beautiful, real humanity and you just can't look away.

Vulnerability Dan Mangan-style

I'm a big fan of Dan Mangan's music. "Road Regrets" is the best driving or running tune ever! especially if your energy stores are low and need a picking up. His lyrics are profound and powerful.

I just read in his newsletter about his successful appearance at the Orpheum and his Euro-tour dates. Best of all, he talks about vulnerability. I'm going to post his words directly. I encourage you to read his Guardian article.

From Dan, the man, "I recently wrote an article published in The Guardian newspaper. It was quite an honour - I have a deep respect for the publication and its dedication to true journalism not only in the UK but around the world. Many thanks to Film & Music Editor Michael Hann for the opportunity. My article was about getting vulnerable, and what getting over the fear to do so can bring about. I would like to add that when I speak of vulnerability, I’m not talking about “sensitivity”. Those are two different things. I’m talking about being porous to the universe – being fully alive in the moment. The hardest, most intense punk-rock show I ever saw was vulnerable. I recently watched some old footage of Nirvana performing. Best believe they were vulnerable. It’s not about being soft, it’s about being honest. Sometimes, being honest might mean being soft, but the two are not one in the same.

Anyhow, feel free to read the article here."

I'd love the hear what you think about what he wrote. "Porous to the universe." That's going to be my mantra for Dec.


Check out more Dan at DanManganMusic.com
p.s. you can get a free download of "Oh Fortune" by simply sharing an email address. Very good idea! It's got the same rolling drum beats of Road Regrets.

Vulnerability & Safety

Parents yearn for children to be safe. Safe in a world where uncertainty hides under every bed and evil crouches behind each and every closet door. We teach our kids how to manage volumes of information, how to embrace diversity, how to extend empathy and compassion to others. But we equip our children little to fight the invisible monster that is the truest threat--their own thoughts. The incessant bombardment of  thoughts in our heads which measure us as lacking or adequate, weak or powerful, broken or brilliant attack us or fortify us. It is our thoughts which rule us and our place in the world more certainly than any learning we might aquire.

I have been working on the Maverick Project, assembling the stories of people who have crafted original lives for themselves, because I believed that they could be talismans of what is possible for those just starting to carve their trail through the forest of possibilities. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe mavericks' tales don't illuminate the way through darkness, but rather obfuscate the truth. 

Our kids are most vulnerable when they leave school "ready" to take on the world. In fact, each of us is most vulnerable when one foot is in the old world, and one in the new. Transitions are where we need to watch that the flying monkeys of doubt don't come and smother our babies in the night. Our thoughts can give us wings or paralyze us. Our thoughts can be seeds or graves.

Julian Barnes photo by Luke MacGregor/Reuters

On CBC's  Writers & Company (at @43:05min),  Man Booker Prize winner, Julian Barnes, recalled his time at Oxford, "There is a vulnerability at that age when you go out into life for the first time, when you leave behind the institutions where rules and companionship and everything protect you...I remember when I was a student, there was always one or two students a year who would kill themselves and it always came as a surprise. And yet,  it shouldn't have done."

Our kids walk a slackline strung between worlds. Have they hope, confidence and helpful self talk as their companions? Or have they doubt, rampant fear, and self blame or loathing? We are all "students" transitioning through different stages. We've never been exactly "here" before with this set of experiences, skills, knowledge and awareness What do we believe to be true? What ruts have our thoughts worn into the road ahead? I have to be constantly vigilant that my thoughts are creative and buoyant, focused on possibility finding rather than doubting and sinking. As they say, "Think you can or think you can't and either way you'll be right". We each need to teach and model possibility thinking. How do you do that?

Courage and Tenderness

I just noticed that my last two blogs have to do with courage. We have Irshad Manji's "Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the recognition that some things are more important than fear," and we have Dr. Brene Brown's "Courage is the ability to tell the whole story of who you are with your whole heart." 

One of the things that is more important than fear is telling the true story of yourself. To tell who you are with your whole heart everyday and in every action.

Something I am learning to do more and more is to not control others' reaction by controlling what I tell them in order to make them feel or think anything. I'm starting to really value the opposite of "making" someone do or feel. The opposite seems to be about exhibiting, yielding and surrendering to tenderness. I'm mindfully cultivating more tenderness with myself and others, and mindfully grateful to receive another's tenderness with me.


In these months since Michael and I have split, I have received such uncommon tenderness from new and old friends (and yes, a lover) that I know to my core the power of such a gift. Tenderness unlocks my fear, shame, anger, guilt, pride, and has released me to be free to receive, create, feel, and share joy, love, gratitude, grace, peace and the innermost corners of myself. There is nothing to do in the face of tenderness than to surrender to it. Yield to tenderness. Be tender with another. That's good medicine.