"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." Epictetus

These wise words come from a Greek slave who ended up teaching an emperor, Marcus Aurelius, about life. And almost 2000 years later, Epictetus' words are still true.

I'm playing the role of a bar tender in the play "Home is Where Your Dog Is," written by my friend and mentor, Doon Wilkins. Doon has infused the play with quotes from Epictetus with my character quoting the Stoic philosopher by way of giving patrons advice. 

Something I'm particularly enjoying is that Doon lives life according to many of Epictetus' philosophies--and it's starting to rub off on me. Over two years ago, Doon told me he was going to record his first music CD. He was in his late 60's at the time. He did it! 

Then, a year ago Doon told me he's going to write his first play. Then he did that too. 

He told me he was going to ask famous Canadian playwright, Norm Foster, to review the script to see if it's any good. It is. Norm Foster says, "very, very, very good." And Doon says we're shooting to win the one act play competition so that we can go to High River and compete. We'll see, but I expect we'll do, since the whole cast has already booked the dates in our calendars.

I started 2018 off with an mantra, "Plan. Do." I think the piece that might be missing in this recipe is "Vision the becoming." Makes me think of the wonderful art film "Beckoning of Lovely." about Amy Krouse Rosenthal magical 8.08.08 gathering in Chicago. 

Once you set your vision, and start yourself in motion, something wonderful is inevitable. Or as Epictetus says, "Know first who you are, then adorn yourself accordingly."

What If?

Found this on Medium. It's so perfect I have to share it. Thank you Annie Fahy for writing perfect, lovely truth. For any of my friends reading this, this is what I wish for us.

What if you came over

Instead of the blinking word,

we could have tea

In the backyard

with the sun?

The gold finches are here

Glimmering brilliance and wonder.

What if we listened together

To the locks within that lift

the flow of blood

From heart to head,

like the Panama Canal

so that the head knows:

what makes a life worth living?

The head could load

it’s frantic thoughts

into the belly

of the rocket

bound for Mars.

We could share this

tea, sun and birds;

Heartbeats and breath

fragrant tea and gardenia,

our thoughts part of the flow

of breath and blood.

Moments organized

for our pleasure

instead.

~ ~ ~ ~

All rights belong to annie fahy ©2017

Elusive Progress

When I was a student of  the Japanese martial art Aiki Jujitsu I was  a terrible student for many many months.
I was slower learning than the other students, and the harder I tried, the more angry I got with myself when I couldn't learn the techniques or keep pace with the moves we were learning in class.

My sparring partner was often Udeziah Hasiki, a brown belt who was the most fluid and adept practitioner in our class. Ude could see my frustration and how my self doubt and criticism affected me. One night, when I we'd practiced a complex set of moves which I hadn't quite gotten right I was exasperated with myself. The soft spoken man held my shoulders, "Mahrtee," he said solemnly. "You ARE i m p r o v i n g. But you, you cahn not see the improvement because you are in the meedle of eet so you cahn not see eet, but we," he touched his chest, "We cahn see eet." He held my gaze to be sure I took in his words.

I could have thrown my arms around Udi. It was one of the wisest and most sensitive things anyone ever said to me.

Ude ended up having to drop out of the dojo because of work and family issues. After years of training hard I went on to earn my black belt. When our Sensei tied that belt around my waist, I had tears in my eyes and  heart for Ude. Without him cheering on my spirit when it did not know its own strength and its own gains, I would not have received such an honour. I would have defeated myself first and not achieved one of the things of which I most proud.

So to you who  struggles to see their own gain, or power, or strength, I say, "You are in the middle of the improvement. You can not see it because you are in the middle of it. But we, we can see it."

Who am I without You?

Enjoyed an enlightening walk and talk with my pal Maegan yesterday. She's a psychologist, the mom of one of my favourite kiddos, and a great, intuitive listener. Earlier, she had adroitly observed me cleaning up after arranging some flowers for a friend in anticipation that my life partner, Dave, would not appreciate the flowers or the mess.

She pointed out that while some accommodation of others' needs is an important part of relating, one can over do it. And I, it seemed was over-accommodating. I was paying so much attention to what my partner needs/needed, that I reduced myself in the process. Hmmm, that would explain the sadness I had been experiencing. The resistance and friction with myself, and that whiff of resentment toward my sweetie.

"What's the antidote?" I asked Maegan.
"Knowing what you want." Silence from me, then the  effervescence of awareness bubbling up from my red shoes to my curly haired head. Ahhhhh. THAT explains a lot.
"You're probably stifling your creativity so that you don't mess up your house." said the divine Miss M. Of course! THAT'S IT. I have so many projects in my head but nowhere for the creative kaboom to happen without making a shambles of the home Dave and I share. He likes it tidy. So do I but I guess...

Other people's messes are always messier than our own. Or feel less tolerable to live with anyhow.

I've had a  day to reflect, and having spent a great coffee chat with my new friend, Justin, I would reshape that awareness to say, I haven't embodied what I want. My body knows that it wants to move and conjure, but the rest of me is being just too accommodating. Time to make a workshop space in the garage. Girl Cave here I come!

On Facebook today I stumbled on a force of nature: Andrea Balt. Thank you Michelle Kiist for introducing me to her! I was drawn by this quote--I mean who can resist the word "weirdness":

I was then lured in by 11 Super Powers You Didn't Know You Had. #2 spoke to me and I want to work it into a collage for my office wall so that my coachees will see it behind me during our sessions:

"2. The Power of Choice. You don’t work for anyone other than your higher self. Other hierarchies are just imitation. Slavery begins in the mind and it consists in choosing to believe that you have no choice. Choice is the on/off button of our power. Every second of our life is really, just a choice to live it one way or another. There is no ultimate reality. We choose that reality time after time, based on one belief or another, which we also have the power to choose or un-choose.

The molten lava at the heart of life is nothing but raw energy. It’s up to us the way we let it burn us." Andrea Balt.

Wow. That's a good mini manifesto! Choose consciously.

My nephew, who received his drivers license last year, just gave the speech of a lifetime. It was delivered to his fellow upper-classmates at Appleby College, but really, its wisdom has a place in any classroom or boardroom. Just substitute, "this place" or "your life" any time he says Appleby and see if I'm not right.

You don't have to be a proud aunt to cry at the simple beauty of this message do you?
Ok, maybe you do, but lemme tell you I'm so proud of the person he has become. Now, when you open the door, say "Hi" and introduce yourself. The world will feel a whole lot friendlier.

Lens of Mindfulness--Photography Wabi Sabi

Just listened to podcast with photographer, Freeman Patterson, talking about his shifting belief in god when at divinity school, "Everyone supported you. Everyone left you alone. Just like a good relationship--distance and intimacy. Somehow my whole sense of God changed from  an authoritarian figure to one of sustained love."

"Being deeply and profoundly concerned about meaning. A non-religious person grabs a beer and watches 16 reality shows. In other words -- escaping life not confronting it. If you are not engaged, life cannot have any depth it seems. It's being engaged. Really engaged."

Opera singer, Rebecca Haas, is an avid photographer.
Contemplative photography helped her to discover how
"Taking a picture is a chance to align the eye, the mind and the heart."

Through photography, where seeing is valued more than gadgetry, reminds us of the value of, "Seeing things just how they are, not how we want them to be.
Tune in and pay attention rather than not notice. Go deeper." 

Reminds me of Sensei talking about going into the pain when I got injured. He guided me to I enter in to find the centre of the pain and explore what started it, rather than try to close off from the pain. usually, the pain went away or greatly diminished, or became part of me instead of my focus.

Engaging in the Wabi Sabi of our lives--taking in our world unvarnished, unpolished. As it is. Without judgement. Unconditional, sustained love.