Death Confirmed

(Entry posted 3 months after date listed out of respect for Linda’s family. I didn’t want the media snooping into this. I’ve posted finally--and post-dated it, as I feel the messages in it are important.)

I received a call today from my paddling friend Barb. She wanted to let me know that the woman with whom I’d kayaked during my own near-death paddling experience, had died over the weekend.

I was stunned. Struck physically with the news.

27 years old, mother of 2 girls and she died just like that. 2 weeks after my accident.

Linda’s dead. I am alive.

After hearing the news, I cried for what seemed like hours. My body shook hard as I fought for breath.

The day of my accident, as we floated down the river before everything went wrong, I had told her I was worried that she was taking undue chances with her choices of rivers.

I had agreed to paddle with her on the Elbow, a smaller river, in part, to share this opinion. It wasn’t right for an email or phone call. I told her she was getting a reputation for being a bit reckless. She seemed hurt and surprised. She said she used to paddle with a crazier crowd--and I felt reassured.

We had e-mailed in May about running the Kicking Horse later in the summer. I needed convincing. It was a big, hairy river. I wanted to paddle it with someone I trusted implicitly if I did it at all. She felt very confident. She said she knew the river and I could follow her.

I always admired her confidence. She seemed fearless.
But maybe a bit of fear is there for a reason--to preserve us.

Thinking back on what happened to me, to Linda, I
reflect on how important it is to:
-know yourself and your limitations/abilities
-trust your companions
-know the river or have a guide who knows it really well
-scout anything you’re a bit concerned about
-remember before running that first aid only works when they reach you in time
-a little fear is a good thing, a lot of fear can be managed, but absence of fear, when fear is reasonable, is a warning.

As I reflect, I wonder why I wasn’t afraid of dying as I slowly asphyxiated that day. I had thought it was my spiritual beliefs and that I’d lived life well, fully. But maybe, just maybe, there’s more for me to reflect on. Right now, shock
________

The announcement of Linda’s accident follows.

From the Sun http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2007/07/31/4381745-sun.html

Calgary woman dies after capsizing

UPDATED: 2007-07-31 01:31:57 MST

By KATIE SCHNEIDER

After her kayak capsized in a B.C. river, a 27-year-old Calgary woman died in hospital.

Linda Huu Thi Thanh Englehart was kayaking on the Kicking Horse River east of Golden, about 260 km west of Calgary, on Saturday when her boat overturned.

STARS air ambulance transported the woman to Foothills hospital, where she died on Sunday.

Englehart leaves behind husband Denny and two daughters, Alyssa and Jenna.