My nephew, who received his drivers license last year, just gave the speech of a lifetime. It was delivered to his fellow upper-classmates at Appleby College, but really, its wisdom has a place in any classroom or boardroom. Just substitute, "this place" or "your life" any time he says Appleby and see if I'm not right.

You don't have to be a proud aunt to cry at the simple beauty of this message do you?
Ok, maybe you do, but lemme tell you I'm so proud of the person he has become. Now, when you open the door, say "Hi" and introduce yourself. The world will feel a whole lot friendlier.

Hair Cut Mayhem

The last post was about the outside affecting the inside. This one is about how a really short hair cut has caused me to look at how I express my dissatisfaction with people, and why. Outside affecting inside.

On Wednesday, I went into a new salon because I know one of the stylists from some volunteer work I did. I sat down in the chair, drew a picture of the haircut I wanted, and after discussing it a bit with her, let her go to work.

What I didn't want was much shorter hair. I'd spent 6 months growing it in from the last short cut.

I told the stylist this, and heard her say twice, "It won't be much of a change if it's not shorter."

I should have listened harder to what she was saying. I should have asked, "How long do you see the finished cut being?" and confirming understanding against the vision each of us had in our heads. I should have stopped her as soon as she cut one piece of hair too short.

Why? Because I got "scalped". While it's a great haircut for someone else, it isn't what I wanted. It's going to be a disaster for my hair quality too. So I'm annoyed. Disappointed. And looking like a grumpy dandelion just before you make a wish and blow off the fuzzies.

Friends ask, "Have you told her (stylist)?" "Will you go back?" to which I answer "no" and "yes".

I haven't told her because there is nothing she can do about it now. She can't glue on the extra 10cm of hair she lopped off and she'll only feel badly. The ONLY reason I would tell her now is, in fact, to make her feel badly--share my pain. Unload it on her. Find an outlet. Unless, by not telling her, I choke on my feelings and decrease the chances of ever going back to that salon. So, I may tell her, but after I've been able to cool off a bit and when I'm ready to ask her how we can avoid this happening again.

Expectation, disappointment, communication around vision and execution on vision are as simple and as complicated as this stupid haircut. The BEST way to avoid disappointment is to carefully check understanding BEFORE execution. Because, sometimes, it's too late afterward to do anything about the result.

Urgh. Bad hair quarter coming (but no photos).