When I was a student of the Japanese martial art Aiki Jujitsu I was a terrible student for many many months.
I was slower learning than the other students, and the harder I tried, the more angry I got with myself when I couldn't learn the techniques or keep pace with the moves we were learning in class.
My sparring partner was often Udeziah Hasiki, a brown belt who was the most fluid and adept practitioner in our class. Ude could see my frustration and how my self doubt and criticism affected me. One night, when I we'd practiced a complex set of moves which I hadn't quite gotten right I was exasperated with myself. The soft spoken man held my shoulders, "Mahrtee," he said solemnly. "You ARE i m p r o v i n g. But you, you cahn not see the improvement because you are in the meedle of eet so you cahn not see eet, but we," he touched his chest, "We cahn see eet." He held my gaze to be sure I took in his words.
I could have thrown my arms around Udi. It was one of the wisest and most sensitive things anyone ever said to me.
Ude ended up having to drop out of the dojo because of work and family issues. After years of training hard I went on to earn my black belt. When our Sensei tied that belt around my waist, I had tears in my eyes and heart for Ude. Without him cheering on my spirit when it did not know its own strength and its own gains, I would not have received such an honour. I would have defeated myself first and not achieved one of the things of which I most proud.
So to you who struggles to see their own gain, or power, or strength, I say, "You are in the middle of the improvement. You can not see it because you are in the middle of it. But we, we can see it."
Showing posts with label aiki jujitsu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aiki jujitsu. Show all posts
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Willpower Exercise Day Six
Break through today! Each day I've scheduled 3 things to start my day:
I sat at my desk to start my "tacky will-ups". My little squirrel brain tried to do so many things before I did my "will-ups" and I kept corralling my thoughts promising them, "I'll do that AFTER."Once I got started moving the tacks, I worried less about "perfect" and focused more on "doing."
Instead of worrying about the protocol around my tack task, I turned up the tunes, and counted each tack while saying "I will to will." The task was SOOOOOoooooooo much more enjoyable. I even chair danced! I also found that I've got 51 tacks in my box--wondering about the number had been something I'd brushed out of my consciousness as not as important as the DOING.
In my journal this morning I had written, "Just show up." It was one of the main life lessons I'd learned during my martial arts journey. I "just showed up" every night to class and after 5 years received a black belt in Aiki Ju Jitsu. Yes, it was hard work. Yes, I faced challenges, and got hurt, and sweated until my skin bubbled. But so long as I "just showed up" for class regardless of how healthy or inclined I felt, I'd overcome the hardest part of the journey and moved incrementally toward my goal.
Today, I was committed to the process regardless of what was happening in or around me. Today, I worried less about being perfect in my task, and focused more on feeling good while doing it--emphasis on doing it. But DOING IT was my commitment.
"Are you committed to your task, your goal, your desire? Are you in or are you out?" Simple and yet so hard. That's the key learning of my tack task today. Committing and acting in concert with your commitment are the key things. An attitude of contentment focuses you on the right mindset but can be hard to create. How you show up and what you get out of it changes every time you show up, and seems beyond the realm of influence at this point. For me at least. So, just showing up and doing gets you a loooong way. There's something else that's happening too, but I don't quite have my finger on it yet.
It's something around lifting the veil over who I really am vs. who I thought I was. But that's for another entry.
- walk
- journal
- tacks
I sat at my desk to start my "tacky will-ups". My little squirrel brain tried to do so many things before I did my "will-ups" and I kept corralling my thoughts promising them, "I'll do that AFTER."Once I got started moving the tacks, I worried less about "perfect" and focused more on "doing."
Instead of worrying about the protocol around my tack task, I turned up the tunes, and counted each tack while saying "I will to will." The task was SOOOOOoooooooo much more enjoyable. I even chair danced! I also found that I've got 51 tacks in my box--wondering about the number had been something I'd brushed out of my consciousness as not as important as the DOING.
In my journal this morning I had written, "Just show up." It was one of the main life lessons I'd learned during my martial arts journey. I "just showed up" every night to class and after 5 years received a black belt in Aiki Ju Jitsu. Yes, it was hard work. Yes, I faced challenges, and got hurt, and sweated until my skin bubbled. But so long as I "just showed up" for class regardless of how healthy or inclined I felt, I'd overcome the hardest part of the journey and moved incrementally toward my goal.
Today, I was committed to the process regardless of what was happening in or around me. Today, I worried less about being perfect in my task, and focused more on feeling good while doing it--emphasis on doing it. But DOING IT was my commitment.
"Are you committed to your task, your goal, your desire? Are you in or are you out?" Simple and yet so hard. That's the key learning of my tack task today. Committing and acting in concert with your commitment are the key things. An attitude of contentment focuses you on the right mindset but can be hard to create. How you show up and what you get out of it changes every time you show up, and seems beyond the realm of influence at this point. For me at least. So, just showing up and doing gets you a loooong way. There's something else that's happening too, but I don't quite have my finger on it yet.
It's something around lifting the veil over who I really am vs. who I thought I was. But that's for another entry.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Compassionate Warrior
Yesterday I talked about Aikido the martial art with the main tenet that you “fight so that no one will lose”--this means even your opponent. The founder, Morihei Ueshiba had trained legions of martial forces for decades, but then he had several Visions--the mystical kind which change everything.
In his book, The Art of Peace”, he talks about how these visions caused him to shift his training program so that the primary skill of a warrior became compassion.
Now, “compassionate warrior” is a hard thing to get one’s brain around. I’ve been thinking for years about how that applies in the real world. The Dalai Lama is the best example of this I suppose. When the Chinese were on the offensive, he left Tibet. He could have chosen to fight (and get slaughtered). But he avoided the conflict. And says that the Chinese afford him his best learning opportunity.
When I was in the Edmonton airport one day, I spotted a buddhist monk who was traveling. I asked his permission to pose a question, “How is a warrior compassionate?”
He replied, “Whenever you take up a position, you spend all your energy defending that position. Do not take a position” Think about that for a sec. How often have we wasted energy defending a position that wasn’t worth it? Is it ever worth it?
The obvious answer is “of course” like if someone’s trying to hurt your mother or steal your baby. But maybe it’s in the stolid nature of taking a position that there’s a clue. In Aikido, they talk about being like “silk in the wind” and “breaking an opponent’s sword” so he/she can’t be hurt. This is an interesting Entering into the opponents world. Their world and my world are the same.
Think how different this is from the War on Terror. That’s taking a position and posture. It could have been so different. I felt the world yearning for Bush to take a different position when maybe a choice would have been to be more compassionate. More fluid.
What if Peace was a verb? Not an end state to be fought for then defended. But rather a way of being. A way of living.
Life is less conflict ridden with compassion as its goal. One tough part is becoming compassionate before the others in your world. I mean if a neighbor wants to bash you over the head with a rock and steal your food...or shoot you because he didn’t like the look you gave him or the way you voted...
The Bible includes “the meek shall inherit the earth”, and “the peace makers are the children of God.” Not a bad guide for civil society. How do we get There from Here?
In his book, The Art of Peace”, he talks about how these visions caused him to shift his training program so that the primary skill of a warrior became compassion.
Now, “compassionate warrior” is a hard thing to get one’s brain around. I’ve been thinking for years about how that applies in the real world. The Dalai Lama is the best example of this I suppose. When the Chinese were on the offensive, he left Tibet. He could have chosen to fight (and get slaughtered). But he avoided the conflict. And says that the Chinese afford him his best learning opportunity.
When I was in the Edmonton airport one day, I spotted a buddhist monk who was traveling. I asked his permission to pose a question, “How is a warrior compassionate?”
He replied, “Whenever you take up a position, you spend all your energy defending that position. Do not take a position” Think about that for a sec. How often have we wasted energy defending a position that wasn’t worth it? Is it ever worth it?
The obvious answer is “of course” like if someone’s trying to hurt your mother or steal your baby. But maybe it’s in the stolid nature of taking a position that there’s a clue. In Aikido, they talk about being like “silk in the wind” and “breaking an opponent’s sword” so he/she can’t be hurt. This is an interesting Entering into the opponents world. Their world and my world are the same.
Think how different this is from the War on Terror. That’s taking a position and posture. It could have been so different. I felt the world yearning for Bush to take a different position when maybe a choice would have been to be more compassionate. More fluid.
What if Peace was a verb? Not an end state to be fought for then defended. But rather a way of being. A way of living.
Life is less conflict ridden with compassion as its goal. One tough part is becoming compassionate before the others in your world. I mean if a neighbor wants to bash you over the head with a rock and steal your food...or shoot you because he didn’t like the look you gave him or the way you voted...
The Bible includes “the meek shall inherit the earth”, and “the peace makers are the children of God.” Not a bad guide for civil society. How do we get There from Here?
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